How War Destroyed a ‘Long and Happy Marriage’

But that very same legislation has additionally created a whole lot of ache for males with refugee youngsters. Their wives or former wives might have left Ukraine with their youngsters, and for the time being, there’s no method for the fathers to journey overseas to see them.

After greater than per week of driving all day and all night time by 10 international locations, Tetiana and the couple’s oldest son lastly arrived in Turku, Finland, the place their youngest son, a semipro hockey participant, lives. It was there she realized that she didn’t wish to return house.

Tetiana

I used to be so exhausted I spent the primary days simply sleeping, strolling and considering. Suddenly I had some free time when there was no must go to my job or handle my mother and father. And then one second I surprisingly realized: I don’t miss house. I don’t wish to return. I imply, it’s not that I don’t love my mother and father or my husband. I wasn’t fascinated by divorce. I simply realized that I needed to be on my own.

ANDRII

Those first few weeks had been actually arduous. After all these years, waking up alone, in a chilly mattress, with no one ready for you? And it wasn’t simply the space. It was this absence of perception in tomorrow. I didn’t know if the Russian troops would come for us or not. I didn’t know if I’d be alive or not. But not an evening handed once I didn’t dream about her.

The variety of marriages ending in Ukraine this previous yr was twice and even 3 times increased than earlier than the warfare, in line with the estimations of Ukrainian psychological well being professionals, divorce legal professionals, relationship gurus, courtroom clerks and judges. The specialists declare that what’s driving Ukraine’s divorce price, which has all the time been excessive in contrast with that of different international locations, is just not a lot war-related stress, although there’s loads of that, however the huge scale of separation.

Dr. Trofymenko, the psychotherapist, stated that when persons are disconnected from their communities they begin re-evaluating the whole lot.

“People start asking questions,” she stated. “Like: Is this person who I spent so many years of my life with still the right person for me if I don’t know who I am anymore?”