Season 2023 guarantees to be essentially the most open NRL competitors in years, with a litany of contenders vying to be slaughtered by Penrith within the grand ultimate.
In reality, the race for glory is so vast open, not even the Panthers have an opportunity.
Here’s why your aspect ought to already hand over on 2023.
Penrith: The Mountain Men are two legs deep in to a uncommon three-peat, a feat no one has completed because the Fraser Administration. But with your complete roster on-course to be signed with Canterbury by midwinter, they’d be higher off cashing out their multi and ready for Ivan Cleary’s subsequent son.
Melbourne: The Storm might have certified for 12 straight finals campaigns, nevertheless it’s no totally different to coronavirus. If you ignore one thing lengthy sufficient it would ultimately go away.
Watch each sport of each spherical of the 2023 NRL Telstra Premiership Season LIVE on Kayo Sports. New to Kayo? Start your free trial now >
Not solely has Craig Bellamy shed an enormous chunk of skilled forwards, rugby league now has a lot ‘Storm Fatigue’ we’ve moved on to the Panthers and monkey pox.
Roosters: Let’s be sincere, apart from the three premierships and numerous finals campaigns, the Trent Robinson period on the Roosters has been a practice wreck. These guys haven’t received a comp for 3 harrowing years, and I can’t see them diverting focus lengthy sufficient from looting lowly golf equipment to finish the drought anytime quickly.
Souths: Endured an interrupted low season with the Latrell Mitchell skirmish and the rolling turmoil of assistant coach Sam Burgess, with the latter copping extra random checks than a Roosters recruit. Jason Demetriou’s aspect will function within the playoffs, however as historical past attests, they’re contractually obliged to advance no additional than the preliminary ultimate.
Parramatta: Statistically and pharmacologically, Eels followers are struggling by way of essentially the most onerous premiership drought within the sport. Their final title was so way back, it’s solely out there in VHS and SD whereas PMSL. More likelihood of the Sex Party successful the higher home majority on the subsequent election. Heck, even the Liberal Party.
Cowboys: Produced a breakout season in 2022 below Todd Payten, with the gentle mannered coach unlocking the sorcery of Scott Drinkwater from behind a tireless ahead pack. This aspect possesses all of the attributes of a grand finalist, however contemplating they’re a 3 hour flight away, they’d probably miss kick-off attributable to Australia’s lemony flight business.
Cronulla: The Sharks might have discovered themselves in an unlikely premiership tilt final yr below Craig Fitzgibbon and Nicho ‘Hutchence’ Hynes, however did anybody actually imagine it was real? After all, this perennial underachiever already loved their day trip in 2016. Would you anticipate Halley’s comet to U-turn again every week later for a second go to?
Canberra: The Raiders are everybody’s second favorite group, primarily as a result of they’re totally innocent. In reality, the aspect solely boasts one true hazard: Ricky Stuart. And that is solely to journalists, referees, and anybody who dedicated an act in opposition to his son in under-12s a decade in the past.
Broncos: Remember the great previous days in Brisbane when gamers have been so mischievous within the low season that spherical one wasn’t ‘kick-off’ however ‘kick-ons’? Thankfully these guys have modified their methods. Instead of going rogue, now they spend their time bagging out Kevin Walters on podcasts. Will be fortunate to complete any increased than their Spotify rating.
Bulldogs: Enjoyed one other busy summer time within the participant market, with Phil Gould and firm belching up egregious quantities of money in a bid to bury the Trent Barrett years. Now boasting an thrilling new lineup lead by rookie coach Cameron Ciraldo, there’s no purpose this aspect can’t elevate as excessive as twelfth.
Manly: Waves of optimism proceed to emerge from Manly as life begins below new coach Anthony Seibold, however I’m not shopping for it. Put merely, the Sea Eagles with out Des Hasler is like Simon with out Garfunkel or a comb-over with out loneliness. No disrespect to Seibold, however the gamers will probably be bewildered – and so will Scott Penn. Who will he blame?
Tigers: Whenever hopes are buoyed by an encouraging Tigers pre-season, simply keep in mind the three way partnership has been so dreadful for the final twenty years that their 2005 premiership needs to be erased from historical past just like the fats children in Roald Dahl’s books.
Warriors: As the childless cat girl of rugby league, the Kiwi membership has now resorted to attractive nameless assistant coaches. No disrespect to Andrew Webster, however he’ll have his palms full simply making certain the season doesn’t die unfulfilled and coated in kitty litter.
Dragons: Another hectically lively low season, if you happen to have been the membership’s legal professional. This is an organisation whose sole goal proper now could be issuing a membership assertion that isn’t about helping police inquiries.
Titans: Always the proverbial little brother to Brisbane, the Seth Curry to their Steph, the Peter Stefanovic to their Karl. But even with the Broncos AWOL in current occasions, they nonetheless proceed to soil the mattress and wrap themselves up within the linen. Can’t deal with the altitude of a wood spoon battle, not to mention the highest eight.
Newcastle: Forget it. Newcastle’s glory days are lengthy gone. There’s no Gidleys left in storage, their property costs at the moment are corresponding to Sydney, and Daniel Johns is in some bizarre electro-synth section.
Dolphins: The new boys enter their debut marketing campaign with no hype, no geographical identification and no likelihood. They do, nevertheless, have the half the Storm’s pensioners and a documentary capturing the membership’s glory days: their life earlier than taking part in soccer.
Dane Eldridge is a long-suffering Roosters fan who has endured three lengthy years with out premiership glory
Source: www.foxsports.com.au