After actor Chhavi Mittal posted an image of her kissing son Arham on the lips, she got here in for intense backlash on social media, with some terming it inappropriate, whereas some went to the extent of calling it little one abuse. In the previous, actors Shah Rukh Khan, Aishwarya Rai Bachchan, Saif Ali Khan and Ayesha Takia Azmi — and celebs within the West corresponding to actor Hilary Duff and former singer Victoria Beckham have confronted related assaults. We communicate to specialists concerning the controversy and delve into social and psychological mores round it. Also, whether it is wholesome for the kid, who inadvertently turns into a goal of the trolls.
APPROPRIATE OR NOT
Psychologist Dr Divya Singh opines that although such acts of affection corresponding to hugs and kisses are essential to assist youngsters really feel safe and cherished, “it might sometimes lead to the child confusing personal boundaries and mistaking these acts to be something that can be easily practised with anyone.”
Another Deepika Singh says she doesn’t kiss her little one on the lips, however feels it’s okay if different mother and father wish to do it with their youngsters. “Every mother has a different expression of love and it’s pure. I like to hug my child and show affection if a different way and that’s also fine.”
Dr Surbhi Singh, activist and founding father of the NGO Sachhi Saheli asserts that whether or not or not the act of kissing children on the lips is acceptable, is a really subjective matter. “Some might find it okay, while others may call it inappropriate. Having said that, I feel love that a mother and a father holds for a child is the purest. I know we hear cases about a father sexually assaulting a child every now and then, but such cases are one in hundred or thousand. If you will not even trust the parents, who else can you trust. We can’t be questioning the relation a parent and a child shares. We can’t be putting thought in children’s mind that every father is a molestor, and every mother’s love is maligned. We need to be positive in our approach,” she shares.
DOES IT AFFECT THE CHILD
Consultant psychologist Dr Pragya Lodha highlights how an act of affection by the mother and father and sharing it on social media would possibly result in larger issues. “Our society is divided into several socio-economic classes and what’s ‘appropriate’ for one can be ‘uncultured’ for another. This increases the risk of child facing harsh remarks when he/she steps out in the real world. So parents, who are okay posting their kids on social media, need to be prepared for situations like these and also prepare the child to deal with any kind of harassment or bullying from peers, if it happens at all,” explains Lodha, as she factors out how possibilities of getting bullied and harassed, in flip triggering the kid has turn into quite common these days owing to the faculty and college setups.
THE CONSENT QUESTION
The query stays of the kid’s privateness being compromised. Should consent be taken by youngsters earlier than appearing a sure manner or posting images like these? Dr Lodha says, “If pictures of a child, who is a minor, is being posted, then the question of consent does not arise. Consent has to be there but in intimate relationships, especially between a child and a parent, it’s automatically considered consent.”
It could also be argued {that a} little one might discover it arduous to specific discomfort — on this case, each with the kissing and the posting of images on-line.
“As parents, we sometimes assume that no matter what we do out of love, our child will feel comfortable with it. We do not bother to take consent,” says social activist Pallabi Ghosh, including, “Such acts may not come under physical abuse, but it’s definitely psychological abuse, where you make the child do things that you wish.”
Amid all this, Mittal explains how she takes and acknowledges consent in her personal manner. “I post pictures with my son Arham but not my daughter Areeza. She stops me as she is not comfortable. She is just 10 though and I respect her choice, her sentiments. And if Arham grows up and says, I do not want to be part of your videos..or social media, I will be happy to respect his feelings. But I know my equation with my children. If I am posting them and tomorrow, they come up to me and feel that I have compromised their privacy, I think I will be far better equipped at handling it,” says the actor.
The query of hygiene
Dr Divya Singh mentions that for very younger youngsters, like infants, it’s, in fact unsanitary. “That’s another major aspect that one needs to understand that we can put infants in danger by these practices. So for very young children, infants, in all, of course, it’s unhealthy, unsanitary, not appropriate at all.”
But Mittal questions, “if kissing my child is unsanitary, what about breastfeeding?”. She goes on, “As far as hygiene is concerned, babies should not be allowed to breastfeed. What are you talking about? This is ridiculous.”
As Mittal wraps up, she says, “being so critical of a parent’s love towards his/her child is ‘what’s inappropriate’. I am a certified Steiner educator and I believe till the age of seven, you as a parent as responsible to inculcate a sense of security in your child and that comes from touch. As far as good and bad touch is concerned, the education happens after the age of 7. Before that, it’s the responsibility of a parent to take care of the child.”
Source: www.hindustantimes.com