How War Destroyed a ‘Long and Happy Marriage’

But that very same regulation has additionally created plenty of ache for males with refugee youngsters. Their wives or former wives could have left Ukraine with their youngsters, and in the intervening time, there’s no means for the fathers to journey overseas to see them.

After greater than every week of driving all day and all evening via 10 nations, Tetiana and the couple’s oldest son lastly arrived in Turku, Finland, the place their youngest son, a semipro hockey participant, lives. It was there she realized that she didn’t need to return dwelling.

Tetiana

I used to be so exhausted I spent the primary days simply sleeping, strolling and considering. Suddenly I had some free time when there was no have to go to my job or handle my dad and mom. And then one second I surprisingly realized: I don’t miss dwelling. I don’t need to return. I imply, it’s not that I don’t love my dad and mom or my husband. I wasn’t fascinated with divorce. I simply realized that I wished to be on my own.

ANDRII

Those first few weeks had been actually onerous. After all these years, waking up alone, in a chilly mattress, with no one ready for you? And it wasn’t simply the space. It was this absence of perception in tomorrow. I didn’t know if the Russian troops would come for us or not. I didn’t know if I’d be alive or not. But not an evening handed after I didn’t dream about her.

The variety of marriages ending in Ukraine this previous yr was twice and even 3 times increased than earlier than the conflict, in response to the estimations of Ukrainian psychological well being professionals, divorce attorneys, courting gurus, courtroom clerks and judges. The consultants declare that what’s driving Ukraine’s divorce price, which has all the time been excessive in contrast with that of different nations, just isn’t a lot war-related stress, although there’s loads of that, however the monumental scale of separation.

Dr. Trofymenko, the psychotherapist, stated that when persons are disconnected from their communities they begin re-evaluating all the pieces.

“People start asking questions,” she stated. “Like: Is this person who I spent so many years of my life with still the right person for me if I don’t know who I am anymore?”